At the age of 87, Herbert McLaughlin runs a
yellow light and is struck and killed by a bus. Herbert
McLaughlin enters the All-related-souls waiting room
Herbert
What happened? Where am I?
Loud voice
Welcome to the All-related-souls waiting room number 1,236
Herbert
[looking around for the source of the voice] Where?
[Herbert looks around and notices that everyone he sees looks just like him, although at varying ages]
Herbert
Where...am I?
[A man walks up to Herbert. He looks identical but is wearing different attire]
Herbert
Sir, may I ask....may I ask....[he loses train of thought as he notes
the suit the man is wearing. He reaches out and touches the
corsage on the man's lapel.] This is my
suit. This suit, the suit you are wearing, is
mine. That corsage....that corsage was given to me by...
Man
This corsage was given to you by your grand-daughter Bethany
Herbert
Yes....
Man
On the day of her wedding to Tim something-or-other
Herbert
How do you know these things?
Man
Look at me. I am Herbert McLaughlin.
Herbert
I am Herbert McLaughlin.
Man
All of us are Herbert McLaughlin. [Herbert is shaking his
head in disbelief] Remember after Bethany's wedding? Do you
remember Bethany and Tim getting into the limo and Bethany dropped
something in the street?
Herbert
[pauses while thinking] Yes....Yes, I think so...
Man
...and, you thought about going and picking it up, didn't you?
Herbert
[thinking] Yes, I believe I did think that...
Man
I did.
Herbert
You did what?
Man
I went out on the street just as the limo was leaving. I
bent over to pick it up....the car behind the limo didn't see me....
Herbert
What?
Man
I was killed. I was killed picking up a folded-up piece of paper from a Sears Catalog.
Herbert
Sears Catalog?
Man
A coupon. Some coupon for some thing that Bethany
wanted. [irritated] It doesn't matter. I
died picking up the coupon. It doesn't matter.
Herbert
Please tell me where I am
Man
The All-related-souls waiting room. this is where all the
souls of Herbert McLaughlin wait until all life threads are complete.
Herbert
life threads?
Man
Please ... just let me finish. All the souls of Herbert
McLaughlin wait here until all life threads are
complete. Each of the people in this waiting room, are
instances of you. For each decision in our life...for each
life-altering decision in our life, a separate Herbert thread is
launched.
Herbert
I still don't understand
Man
Do you see that young boy over there? [points at boy] That
one. Right there on the red sofa. Do you see him?
Herbert
[weakly] Is that me as a boy?
Man
Yes. Do you remember when you were seven and your cousins wanted to go swimming in the blue lagoon?
Herbert
[thinking] blue lagoon....blue lagoon....[it dawns on him] Oh,
yes. We called the rock quarry the blue
lagoon. Yes, I remember.
Man
He went swimming in the blue lagoon
Herbert
And died?
Man
Yes
Herbert
So, why are we all here?
Man
We are all related souls. The fate of all of us rests on the cumulative works of the related souls
Herbert
I lived a good life
Man
Of no concern here. Of the 1,236 Herberts in this room, 611 have been deemed evil.
Herbert
Evil?
Man
We have a slight majority at the moment.
Herbert
Evil?
Man
You believe in Evil, right?
Herbert
Well, yes?
Man
did you think yourself not capable of Evil?
Herbert
Well...no.
Man
[whispering] see that Herbert over there wearing the Marine Corps uniform?
Herbert
Yes
Man
He decided, after high school, to join the Marines. While
enlisted, he took part in the torture and ethnic cleansing of a Bosnian
village
Herbert
No?
Man
Yes.
Herbert
I almost joined the Marines after high school
Man
[exasperated] Yes! That's what I just said.
Herbert
[Notices large plasma screens ringing the room. Each of them
is showing a 'Herbert' doing various tasks] What are all
those?
Man
Those are the current 'free-will' Herberts
Herbert
Free-will Herberts?
Man
That's what we call the Herberts who are still living. Still making decisions.
Herbert
I'm starting to understand...and this is the related-Herberts room
Man
[exasperated] The All-related-souls waiting room
Herbert
All-related souls...ok, ok....but, I still feel the same. What has changed?
Man
Well, for one, you now know the Truth
Herbert
Truth?
Man
Yes - Truth. You now know that there is an afterlife, right?
Herbert
[looks around] well, yes.
Man
You now know that you will be held accountable for your life?
Herbert
Yes
Man
Do you understand the nature of Life and space and time and human
nature and every question that Philosophers, Scientists, and
Theologians once tried to answer?
Herbert
Well, yes...but, how?
Man
We've been stripped of mortal coil and Truth has been laid
bare. We are now all suspended souls. We are,
until the last of us dies off, bound to time but without free will.
Herbert
No free will?
Man
Right...I mean, how can you possibly have free will after you've seen
the Truth? You can't....You can't have free will once you
know the Truth. Your decisions will be as automatic as an
Ant.
Herbert
I thought I knew the Truth when I was alive
Man
Impossible. The engine can't know or even describe the
engineer. You knew bits of Truth. At the
subconscious level, you knew more Truth....but, at no point, did you
have the entirety of Truth....never.
Herbert
[weakly] go on...
Man
Each of us here, the related souls, exert some small amount of
influence on the various living souls. Mind you, only at the
subconscious level....but, it's still some small amount of
influence. At this very moment, your general goodness and
knowledge of Truth is affecting each of these Free-will herberts.
Herbert
Was I affecting them before I died
Man
No
Herbert
why not?
Man
As I just said, you only had bits of the Truth. How can you
affect someone with only bits of the Truth? Bits of truth
without the entire Truth can only lead to disaster.
Herbert
I think I understand....You've been here for 8 years? How is it looking for us?
Man
Evil ruled the room when I got here. But, there's been a
swing. It seems that, as we get older, we are more inclined
to goodness. More receptive of Truth.
Herbert
Really?
Man
Yes. With age goes aspiration. With age goes
Self. You know what I mean by 'Self' [Herbert
nods] The older the Herberts get, the more they focus on
what is good. The more they heed Truth.
Herbert
[puzzled] I think I understand.
Man
Do you see that Herbert over there? [points] The one with the newer Marine Corps uniform?
Herbert
Yes. Evil?
Man
Well, he was also a part of the Bosnian massacre. But, he
escaped death and made it back to the United States. After
30 years of a truly Evil and wretched life, he found God and dedicated
the rest of his life to building that relationship and loving other
humans. He is a good Herbert.
Herbert
How did he....?
Man
He died saving a young girl from a burning car.
Herbert
How old was he when he died?
Man
42.
Herbert
But...wait...he was evil for 30 years?
Man
Acting on the Truth has that effect.
Herbert
And the remaining Herberts?
Man
[Motioning to one of the screens] There is your life if you didn't run that yellow light
Herbert
[watches himself playing by the pool with his great-grandkids] That was dumb. That was so dumb.
Man
We needed another good Herbert in here. [they notice a commotion in one corner] Quick, come this way!
Herbert
What? [follows after man]
Man
[watching screen] This Herbert thread has been split from you for 23 years
Herbert
23 years ago? I was 64. Since I was 64?
Man
Yes
Herbert
That was the year my ... I mean, our wife passed
Man
Yes
Herbert
what happened to him?
Man
He became bitter. Instead of moving closer to his children and healing, he moved to Miami and became bitter
Herbert
bitter?
Man
Yes. He remarried a woman 30 years younger than him.
Other Man
Shhhh?
Man
What's going on?
Other man
He's having a heart attack. His wife isn't calling 9-1-1
Man
What?
Other man
She is very evil.
Man
[to Herbert] Evil attracts evil
Other man
She is waiting for him to die before calling
Man
that's terrible
Herbert
So, he is coming here soon?
Both Men
Yes
The screen they are watching suddenly turns black and they hear a commotion on the other side of the room.
Loud voice
Welcome to the All-related-souls waiting room number 1,237
Herbert
[looking around at screens which are also black] There are so many black screens
Man
Yes. The last few years, the Free-Will herberts make fewer
and fewer life-altering decisions. And, we're
old. More of us are dying.
Herbert
I see
Man
Mind you. From time to time, one of these Herberts will
still make a big decision and we'll get another live screen....but,
we're dying at a faster rate.
Herbert
What is our reward if we have a majority of goodness at the end?
Man
That depends on our AGI....Oh, I'm sorry, you're still new. That's the Accumulated Goodness Index
Herbert
But, it'll be good, right? We have a majority?
Man
Well, if things stay this way, it won't be bad. It might be
better than this place. Unfortunately, the military Herberts
put quite a dent in our AGI.
Herbert
I screwed up when I entertained those military
fantasies. Those fantasies of being a hero...of getting all
that attention....ahhhh
Man
[sad] Sadly, regret doesn't end when life does.
Herbert
I wish I could do it all over again
Man
[quietly] I know.
Herbert
[louder and crying] I WISH I COULD DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN
start to fade out. Keep repeating:
Herbert
[loud and crying] I WISH I COULD DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN
(CC) 2007 John W. Lampe
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 License.